Tag Archives: baby

Feb 26 2016
Leave a comment
Life

Nothing is Private… Ever

Blogging and social media are so intertwined in our daily lives we think that posting in a so-called private Facebook group or Instagram means our information will remain just that… forgetting thousands of others are also seeing that photo, video or comment.

I’ve seen countless posts in Facebook groups become “news” stories on the Daily Mail, quickly followed by group members raging about how they shared the information in a private group and the journalist should be censured. “But this group isn’t private”, I smugly thought to myself. It has 25,000 members!!

So why was I so shocked when someone took my ultrasound from this post and used it to join a twin pregnancy group on Facebook?

Because I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

But it wasn’t just me. It was my babies as well. My cub protection instincts were in overdrive along with the postpartum hormones flooding my baby-ravaged brain.

The fact someone took note of my name (on the ultrasound) and went to the effort of creating a fake Facebook profile and pretty convincing background story to sell themselves to group admins was creepy as hell.

The alert admin who contacted me about the fake profile was apologetic, and explained they came across 2-3 such profiles each week. People’s motivations varied – some were collecting material for pregnancy fetish groups, others had suffered a bereavement but still wanted to “experience” twin pregnancy through others. Some just did it for kicks.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t share any belly shots in the group, but it kinda weirds me out to think of someone getting freaky to a pic of my unnaturally stretched and ridiculously uncomfortable multi-baby belly home.

The experience has been a sharp reminder to be careful about how and where I share images of my children. Even in settings where a level of relative privacy is presumed.

As soon as you hit publish, your content can and will end up somewhere it’s not meant to be.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Oct 18 2015
1 Comment
Life

And then there were three

It’s been a while, and oh how life has changed. Big time.

Toby still doesn’t sleep. He got there for a while but then he learned how to climb out of his cot, we moved into a toddler bed and hello we’re back to (multiple) nocturnal visits… although this time it’s him visiting us.

And then this happened…

twin pregnancy, ultrasound, twin ultrasound, identical twins

Our 10-week ultrasound left us speechless

After two miscarriages, we had tentatively started another ICSI cycle with IVF Australia – netting one perfect embryo for transfer. We got a positive pregnancy test. Then a blood test confirmed it. At six weeks an ultrasound detected a perfect beating heart.

Still scarred after our most recent miscarriage (we lost an IVF pregnancy at 7 weeks), we booked in for 10-week NIPT testing to rule out genetic disorders. I was shaking and my heart was racing as I lay down for our pre-test ultrasound, willing the heartbeat to still be there. The images rendered on the TV screen and we didn’t register the double blobs until the ultrasound tech mentioned the word, “both”. “Both babies are looking good.”

Both?

Neil literally lost all colour in his face and I lost all ability to say anything other than “Oh my God”. There were TWO babies on the screen. Twins!

Having only transferred a single embryo, the tech confirmed they were monoamniotic dichorionic (MODI) or identical twins. And so began what was to be a long, often uncomfortable and very emotional journey.

30 weeks, a new house, bigger car and 25 long days in Special Care later – and these two angels are curled up together on my lap.

identical twins

Eleanor & Sophie

Whirlwind? Yes. And it literally feels like it  has passed in a nanosecond.

Tagged , , , , ,
May 21 2013
1 Comment
Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: 5am Wakeup – Oh My!

Well, the title of this post says it all really! We were expecting a bit of rebellion around Nights 4 and 5, but the Tobester has surprised us by pulling two huge sleeps without a single peep in between.

What’s changed you may ask?

We had noticed that Toby woke most commonly between 3 and 4am – which coincided with the coldest times in his room. It got down to a chilly 16 degrees C the other night, so we decided to set the heater to come on at 2:30am to counter the drop in temperature. This is the only change we made to our sleep plan on Night 4… and what a huge difference it made.

How It Panned Out: 

Night 4: 
6:30pm: Down for bed.
4:45am: Woke up! This is the Tobester’s longest sleep ever. Neil woke up three times between 1am and 4am, but I slept through. It’s amazing how much difference this made. Gave him a quick feed then back down to sleep.
6:45am: Up for the day.

Night 5: 
7:10pm: Down for bed.
4am: Woke up. Fed and put back down but still a little grizzly. Slept for another 20 minutes before waking again at 4:40am.  Back down again at 5am.
7:20am: Up for the day.

Toby’s room is on the cold side in winter, due to two large windows facing out into a large open courtyard. As a result he’s pretty rugged up at the moment:

  • Long-sleeved/leg onesie
  • 2.5 tog Gro-bag
  • Warm polyfleece blanket
  • Second waffle blanket to pull up overnight if it’s cooler
  • Oil-fin heater set to keep the room at 20-21 degrees between 2:30am and 7am

As for day sleeps, we’re still going really well. He is fairly consistently down for 1.5 hours at 8:30/9am, and at least another hour (usually 1.25 – 1.5 hours) in the afternoon if we’re at home. The result of this new-found sleep is a much happier, contented baby.

Fingers crossed things continue to improve over the next few nights!

Tagged , , , , , , ,
May 16 2013
1 Comment
Sleep Aside

Feed, change, book, cuddles, reassurance.

Into bed, blanket up, eyes lock.

Nightlight on – stars spotted.

Goodnight Toby, kiss, reassurance.

Silence.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hold the Phones – The Tobester Self-Settled!

Tagged , , , , ,
May 16 2013
1 Comment
Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: The Battleplan Changes (Again)

Oh hello, welcome back. Yes, we’re still here… now with a new plan of attack after Plans 1 and 2 failed dismally. We’ve managed to reduce night feeds to one at about 4.30 – 5am (yay!), but have acquired a 1.5 hour period of screaming, back arching and tears in the early hours. It is, we presume, the arrival of separation anxiety. Fun times ahead indeed….

So after almost two weeks of these 1.5 hour blocks of settling, resettling and hysterical baby, we’ve decided to throw everything at the Tobester so we can all get some much-needed sleep. We’ve read up and devised an improved bedtime routine, agreed on consistent settling techniques, and committed not to waver from the plan no matter how hard it gets.

Bedtime routine of:

  • Bath
  • Feed (ideally 20 mins before bedtime to avoid him falling asleep during)
  • Book with dad in his room
  • Cuddles, a song and reassuring words during a few laps of his room
  • Into cot drowsy on back so he can look at the constellation projections from his awesome new nightlight
  • Sheet up under arms
  • Goodnight and reassurance as we leave the room

Resettle routine of:

  • Leave to cry for 5 minutes on waking to see if it’s sleep crying
  • If it continues or escalates, go in and try to resettle in cot
  • If it continues or escalates, pick up and hold against shoulder; singing and giving reassurances until calm
  • Place back in cot drowsy on back so he can look at nightlight and pull up sheet
  • Goodnight and reassurance as we leave the room

Parent plan of:

  • Dad to do majority of overnight settling 12am – 4am as he feels more rested if he wakes earlier rather than later.
  • Me to help if major wall is hit with 1.5 hour wakeup/crying session, and take anything after 4am.
  • No feeds until after 4am. If  I’m in settling and feel myself cracking I will leave and Neil will come in.
  • No using the fitball to bounce him to sleep. Very slow pacing only.

Night 1: How it panned out
9:30pm: Brief grizzle/cry for two minutes but back to sleep with no intervention
11pm: Left to cry for 5 minutes, then we went in to resettle (in cot). Left room and he started to cry again, so we left to cry for a further 5 minutes before going in. Neil picked him up along with “Big Ted” (his designated night watchman) and calmed him down before putting him back in bed, drowsy but eyes open, looking at his nightlight. Silence. Quiet parental fist-pumps.
2:10am: Left to cry for 5 minutes before going in. Resettle in cot results in huge increase in crying intensity so pick up to calm. It took almost 20 minutes to calm the Tobester down and Neil managed to get back into bed before he started again.

We left him for a further 2 minutes crying before the intensity warranted a revisit. Picked him up and another 25 minutes of settling in arms. Throughout this time Toby was arching his back and screaming constantly, with tears running down his face. It’s HEARTBREAKING to deal with and so hard to keep calm and repeat comforting words and reassurance when you have no idea what is causing your baby to be so upset.

In an effort to distract him a little I extended my walk out the door and into the living room. The effect was immediate. Toby’s arching stopped, his breathing calmed and he slowed down to a whimper. I did a few more long laps of bedroom/hallway/living room; before reducing it back to hallway/bedroom and then finally back to the bedroom only. I got him calm enough to put back into bed but as I was lowering him we were back to square one. I left the Tobester in his cot for a few minutes giving reassurances, holding his hand (he pushed me away), stroking his cheek and just being close but he continued to lose it.

Picked up and walked over to the mirror and after a few minutes he opened his eyes long enough to look at himself. This calmed him a little as he could see both of us. I managed to get him down to a whimper but he was still arching and setting off a bit so I told him I was going to sit down on the sofa with him (he hates to sit still and will often arc up again). I lowered myself down and miracle of miracles he didn’t lose it again. A few minutes later I moved to the cot and placed him in. At 3:35am we deemed it a “success” and were able to pop the sleep timer back on.

6:10am: Up for the day.

The verdict:

Although we’re still suffering through the 1.5 hour screamfest at 2am, we are definitely onto a winner with the nightlight. This is the first time we’ve been able to put him down a) on his back and b) with his eyes open, and had  him settle himself off to sleep. We’ve also had some success with this getting him down for his first nap of the day. Tonight we’ll continue with everything and make sure we employ a distraction technique like walking into the hallway much earlier on in the 2am wakeup (if there is one).

Roll on night two…

Related articles

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Apr 18 2013
Leave a comment
Life

Weird Things Babies Do

I was just reading a post over on Babble about six weird things babies do. I agreed with the infrequent blinking – that freaks me out – but farting, burping and throbbing fontanelle aren’t really that weird.

Here’s my list of 6 Weird Things Babies Do:

  1. Twirling feet:
    The Tobester’s feet are forever twirling – clockwise, anti-clockwise, one of each… He saves this particular baby quirk for when he’s happiest; usually when we’re about to leave the house or when he’s eating. He’s going to have very limber ankles by the time he starts walking.
  2. Sucking knees and shoulders:
    My knees and shoulders are often soggy thanks to the Tobester’s obsession with sucking them. If I walk past him at his activity station, he will launch himself at the nearest knee and slobber all over it while holding on for dear life lest I try to walk away.
  3. Licking pram tyres: 
    I thought this was a result of the Tobester watching Billy (the bunny) chewing on his pram tyres, but a mention of this particular quirk at Mother’s Group revealed it’s another weird thing babies do. Pram tyres children… really?!?!
  4. Freaking out at random things:
    The other day Toby lost it over Weet-Bix. Not just me taking the biscuit out of the crackly plastic (OK I can understand that), but the sight of the innocuous wheaty biscuit as well. Thank goodness he managed to get past his fear to eat them for breakfast.
  5. Groaning as they fall asleep:
    The Tobetser is a groaner. As we settle him to sleep, a chorus of loud groans emit from his little throat and continue until he finally drops off. We didn’t realise how noisy this was until we were out one day and someone pointed out how cute his loud sleepy noises were!
  6. Inspecting:
    Yesterday Toby inspected crumbs of banana pancake on his food tray for almost ten minutes. He picked each morsel up, squeezed it between his little pincers, rolled it around, then put it down and moved onto the next one. He is also doing some serious investigation work on our Dyson vacuum cleaner. Hopefully he’ll work out how to use it soon so I can take that particular chore off my To Do list.

What weird things does your baby do?

Tagged , , ,
Apr 15 2013
1 Comment
Life Aside

So the Tobester’s current favourite toy line-up looks a little like this:

  1. Pram tyres – it doesn’t matter whose pram they belong to, he will lick all tyres equally.
  2. The clothes horse – mainly pulling things off it.
  3. A square of knitting – best for close inspection of the stitches and sucking.
  4. Cushions – great to throw yourself at, back up and repeat. Insert howls of baby laughter for best results.
  5. Remote controls – “No mum, I won’t be taken in by the broken one you’ve given me to play with. I want the ACTUAL remote controls for the TV…”

 

Unlikely Baby Toys…

Tagged , , , , , ,
Apr 05 2013
5 Comments
Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: Nights 4 & 5

And so the Sleepy Train rolls on.

The Lamari Parenting article (my new bible!) says to expect sleeping through to start around nights three to five; with “sleeping through” being 7-12 hours straight for a baby Toby’s age (almost 8 months).

To be honest, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if he ACTUALLY slept through. You can bet both of us would still be up several times to check he’s still breathing, and we’d still wake at 6am thanks to the sleep training Toby’s done on us the past eight months!

Night 4: How it Panned Out: 
7:20pm: Down for bed
12:15am: Woke up and hit his head. Resettled using PUPD. But woke up again. We left him to cry and after 3 minutes he had put himself to sleep. *happy dance*
2:25am: Woke up and fed. Back to bed easily.
4:50am: Woke up and sounded a little snuffly. Tried to resettle using PUPD but every time I put him back in his cot he woke up and cries (and cries). Try feeding at 5:15am but he still loses it when going into the cot. I bounce the length of the bedroom for another 30 minutes but he won’t settle. I get some joy stroking his cheek while lying on the sofa together. He finally crashes at 6:30am. I’m not far behind.
8:10am: Up for the day with a full-blown cold. Awesome. Snot all over his face, drool everywhere. We have a very unhappy panda on our hands…

And so we welcome back Darth. What sort of wonky baby immune system lets through a second cold in two weeks? Thank goodness he’s not in daycare yet… he’d be a sneezing, snotting, hand-foot-and-mouth-blistered mess!

In light of his return to Snotmaster, we decided not to let the Tobester cry for a prolonged period (ie: 5 minutes) on night five, and to give him up to two feeds if he wants them.

Night 5: How it Panned Out:
7:10pm: Down for bed
4:00am: Yes, you read that right folks – 4am! We heard him rousing a few times but it wasn’t until almost 9 hours that our little snotty, coughing boy woke up. Much quiet praise and a feed and he was back to sleep.
5:45am: PUPD and back to sleep within 10 minutes.
6:40am: Up for the day.

Now it’s probably 50/50 as to whether the Tobester’s monster sleep was down to feeling unwell, or progress in self-settling. I’m angling  – as any optimistic sleep-training parent would – that it was actually a little more of Column B. He roused several times in the night coughing and started to cry, then stopped within 1-2 minutes. When he was sick the other week we were all up every sleep cycle – so definite progress there.

Nap wise, our day sleeps are definitely suffering with the sleep training. We had a good two-hour morning nap this morning, but only another 30 minutes early afternoon. We usually get three day sleeps out of Toby, so the dropping of a nap is having an impact on the end of the day. He gets crankier earlier (5-5:30pm) and I’ve had to bring forward the Three B’s – “Bath, Boob & Bed”  – as a result. Unfortunately this means the husband is missing out on his night-time boy’s bonding session of bathing Toby.

The Tobester’s cough has been quite hacking today – and definitely worse than his last cold – so we’re prepared for a pretty disrupted night. It’s heartbreaking listening to him coughing so much between sleep cycles, but unfortunately there’s nothing we can do for him at the moment bar cuddles and comfort. Stupid germs!

The Lamari article also said to expect regression between nights five and eight, which will last up to three days. Coupled with the cold I think we’re fairly certain to have a sleep deprived weekend. Stay tuned…

Related articles
Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 05 2013
Leave a comment
Life Quote
  • How to wipe his nose with his sleeve.
  • How to wipe his nose surreptitiously on my top.
  • If he gets up on his knees and pushes the side of the playpen, it moves.
  • An old remote control and toy phone are no substitute to the real TV remote and mum’s mobile.
  • How to run after me as I try to walk around his activity toy. Kid is going to be a tailgater…
  • Undoing the velcro on his shoes and taking them off.
  • Ditto his socks (just without the velcro… obviously)

Things Toby Has Learned This Week…

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Apr 03 2013
Leave a comment
Life Quote

So it turns out I’ve been putting the Bugaboo rain cover on upside down all this time. I always wondered why the peekaboo flap was over the top of the canopy…

Duh Parent Moment #3948

Tagged , , , , , ,
← Older posts