May 21 2013
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Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: 5am Wakeup – Oh My!

Well, the title of this post says it all really! We were expecting a bit of rebellion around Nights 4 and 5, but the Tobester has surprised us by pulling two huge sleeps without a single peep in between.

What’s changed you may ask?

We had noticed that Toby woke most commonly between 3 and 4am – which coincided with the coldest times in his room. It got down to a chilly 16 degrees C the other night, so we decided to set the heater to come on at 2:30am to counter the drop in temperature. This is the only change we made to our sleep plan on Night 4… and what a huge difference it made.

How It Panned Out: 

Night 4: 
6:30pm: Down for bed.
4:45am: Woke up! This is the Tobester’s longest sleep ever. Neil woke up three times between 1am and 4am, but I slept through. It’s amazing how much difference this made. Gave him a quick feed then back down to sleep.
6:45am: Up for the day.

Night 5: 
7:10pm: Down for bed.
4am: Woke up. Fed and put back down but still a little grizzly. Slept for another 20 minutes before waking again at 4:40am.  Back down again at 5am.
7:20am: Up for the day.

Toby’s room is on the cold side in winter, due to two large windows facing out into a large open courtyard. As a result he’s pretty rugged up at the moment:

  • Long-sleeved/leg onesie
  • 2.5 tog Gro-bag
  • Warm polyfleece blanket
  • Second waffle blanket to pull up overnight if it’s cooler
  • Oil-fin heater set to keep the room at 20-21 degrees between 2:30am and 7am

As for day sleeps, we’re still going really well. He is fairly consistently down for 1.5 hours at 8:30/9am, and at least another hour (usually 1.25 – 1.5 hours) in the afternoon if we’re at home. The result of this new-found sleep is a much happier, contented baby.

Fingers crossed things continue to improve over the next few nights!

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May 18 2013
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Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: Parents Making Big Ground

I posted on my Facebook mother’s group the other day about my envy of other parents who put their babies down to bed after a cuddle and book, said goodnight and their babies would take care of the rest. For Toby it was an extended period of walking around the room jiggling, or bouncing on the Swiss Ball until he was practically comatose, before gently transferring him to bed. If you’d told me we’d be reporting the same bedtime routine a week later I would have laughed in your face and called you crazy. But here we are. Go little man 🙂

Here’s how the last two nights have panned out:

Night 2
6:35pm: Down for bed – very easily! Bath, feed, book and into bed with only a small peep once I’d left the room. Celebratory wine consumed.
10:50pm: Woke briefly but screaming. Resettled quickly in bed.
1:4oam: Woke crying so we gave him 5 minutes before heading in. I think we may have gone in a little soon, as the crying didn’t really escalate to a distressed level. Neil quickly got Toby down for 10 minutes, but he woke again. Repeated the wait, cuddle, reassurance, goodnight routine another three times, but the Tobester was having huge issues going back to sleep without us holding him. We’ve figured out that unless we get him back to sleep within 20 minutes, we’re looking at at least an hour to calm him down and get him to the point where we can put him in bed and he drifts off. Having said that, we were up for 1 hour 10 minutes – 20 minutes less than the previous night.
6:15am: Up for the day.
The Verdict: Not bad! We understood where we went wrong (went in too early at 1:40am, didn’t get out of the room quickly enough after putting in bed) and took these learnings into the next night.

Night 3
7pm: Down for bed – again remarkably easily. We’d had two Skype calls with grandparents – which always overstimulate Toby – plus guests, so I was quite surprised that he went down without a fuss.
3am: And that ladies and gentlemen, was an eight hour sleep! As we woke to his grizzles, we could hear the Tobester trying so hard to resettle himself. He went silent for 10 minutes and we were convinced he’d done it. Silent congratulations ensued, only to have another small grizzle start up. Again he tried so hard to settle himself and managed to get down for another 5 minutes, but things just weren’t happening for him. We got up after 5 minutes of increased crying and spent another 40 minutes settling him down. An hour awake all up – so further improvement  there.
6:45am: Up for the day.

The Verdict: This was the longest stretch of sleep we’ve had in months. Toby came so very close to resettling himself at 3am and we were sure he had done it. We’re really interested to see what Night 4 will bring!

I’m also happy to report that day sleeps have been better. We are putting him down successfully by having a cuddle and walk, reassurance, kiss, under the sheet and “goodnight, time for sleeps” as we go out the door.  Admittedly it is taking 3-5 trips back into the room to get him down sometimes, but I think that’s just a matter of refining our timing based on his sleepy cues (slow down of movement, yawning). Spending another minute or so cuddling and walking would also help to wind him down from the previous few hours food and play. We’re getting just under 1.5 hours of sleep consistently now for morning and after lunch naps – which is giving me some much needed “me” time to sew and catch up on almost the entire new season of  Mad Men waiting for me on Foxtel IQ. Win.

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May 16 2013
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Sleep Aside

Feed, change, book, cuddles, reassurance.

Into bed, blanket up, eyes lock.

Nightlight on – stars spotted.

Goodnight Toby, kiss, reassurance.

Silence.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hold the Phones – The Tobester Self-Settled!

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May 16 2013
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Getting Crafty Image

Oh Look, I’ve Been Sewing!

Reversible sunhat
Whipstitch Overmost overalls – reversible of course!
Snuggly earmuff hat
Made by Rae’s Big Butt Baby Pants
Tie Dye Diva Reversible hoodie vest – owls and polar fleece

 

Awesome new handmade baby gear with patterns courtesy of:
Made by Rae (Big Butt Baby Pants)
From an Igloo (Earmuff Hat)
Whipstitch (“Overmost” Reversible Overalls)
Tie Dye Diva (Reversible Hoodie Vest – LOVE this one!)
Tie Dye Diva (Sunny Day Hat)

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May 16 2013
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Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: The Battleplan Changes (Again)

Oh hello, welcome back. Yes, we’re still here… now with a new plan of attack after Plans 1 and 2 failed dismally. We’ve managed to reduce night feeds to one at about 4.30 – 5am (yay!), but have acquired a 1.5 hour period of screaming, back arching and tears in the early hours. It is, we presume, the arrival of separation anxiety. Fun times ahead indeed….

So after almost two weeks of these 1.5 hour blocks of settling, resettling and hysterical baby, we’ve decided to throw everything at the Tobester so we can all get some much-needed sleep. We’ve read up and devised an improved bedtime routine, agreed on consistent settling techniques, and committed not to waver from the plan no matter how hard it gets.

Bedtime routine of:

  • Bath
  • Feed (ideally 20 mins before bedtime to avoid him falling asleep during)
  • Book with dad in his room
  • Cuddles, a song and reassuring words during a few laps of his room
  • Into cot drowsy on back so he can look at the constellation projections from his awesome new nightlight
  • Sheet up under arms
  • Goodnight and reassurance as we leave the room

Resettle routine of:

  • Leave to cry for 5 minutes on waking to see if it’s sleep crying
  • If it continues or escalates, go in and try to resettle in cot
  • If it continues or escalates, pick up and hold against shoulder; singing and giving reassurances until calm
  • Place back in cot drowsy on back so he can look at nightlight and pull up sheet
  • Goodnight and reassurance as we leave the room

Parent plan of:

  • Dad to do majority of overnight settling 12am – 4am as he feels more rested if he wakes earlier rather than later.
  • Me to help if major wall is hit with 1.5 hour wakeup/crying session, and take anything after 4am.
  • No feeds until after 4am. If  I’m in settling and feel myself cracking I will leave and Neil will come in.
  • No using the fitball to bounce him to sleep. Very slow pacing only.

Night 1: How it panned out
9:30pm: Brief grizzle/cry for two minutes but back to sleep with no intervention
11pm: Left to cry for 5 minutes, then we went in to resettle (in cot). Left room and he started to cry again, so we left to cry for a further 5 minutes before going in. Neil picked him up along with “Big Ted” (his designated night watchman) and calmed him down before putting him back in bed, drowsy but eyes open, looking at his nightlight. Silence. Quiet parental fist-pumps.
2:10am: Left to cry for 5 minutes before going in. Resettle in cot results in huge increase in crying intensity so pick up to calm. It took almost 20 minutes to calm the Tobester down and Neil managed to get back into bed before he started again.

We left him for a further 2 minutes crying before the intensity warranted a revisit. Picked him up and another 25 minutes of settling in arms. Throughout this time Toby was arching his back and screaming constantly, with tears running down his face. It’s HEARTBREAKING to deal with and so hard to keep calm and repeat comforting words and reassurance when you have no idea what is causing your baby to be so upset.

In an effort to distract him a little I extended my walk out the door and into the living room. The effect was immediate. Toby’s arching stopped, his breathing calmed and he slowed down to a whimper. I did a few more long laps of bedroom/hallway/living room; before reducing it back to hallway/bedroom and then finally back to the bedroom only. I got him calm enough to put back into bed but as I was lowering him we were back to square one. I left the Tobester in his cot for a few minutes giving reassurances, holding his hand (he pushed me away), stroking his cheek and just being close but he continued to lose it.

Picked up and walked over to the mirror and after a few minutes he opened his eyes long enough to look at himself. This calmed him a little as he could see both of us. I managed to get him down to a whimper but he was still arching and setting off a bit so I told him I was going to sit down on the sofa with him (he hates to sit still and will often arc up again). I lowered myself down and miracle of miracles he didn’t lose it again. A few minutes later I moved to the cot and placed him in. At 3:35am we deemed it a “success” and were able to pop the sleep timer back on.

6:10am: Up for the day.

The verdict:

Although we’re still suffering through the 1.5 hour screamfest at 2am, we are definitely onto a winner with the nightlight. This is the first time we’ve been able to put him down a) on his back and b) with his eyes open, and had  him settle himself off to sleep. We’ve also had some success with this getting him down for his first nap of the day. Tonight we’ll continue with everything and make sure we employ a distraction technique like walking into the hallway much earlier on in the 2am wakeup (if there is one).

Roll on night two…

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May 10 2013
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Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime – The War is On

… unfortunately the war is being waged by the Tobester, and it feels like he’s winning.

After Toby got sick twice in two weeks and we had to stop our sleep training, things were slightly better. He would occasionally self settle overnight, and was able to be settled if he wasn’t too upset in his cot with pats and shushes.

That was up until a week ago, when he started waking at 11pm, then 1am, then 3am FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF, and up for the day at 6am. Seriously trying. Add to this the fact he could only be settled to quiet with motion – walking around or bouncing on the Swiss ball – and you’ve got two very exhausted parents. We tried to use some of the tools we’d learned with round one – putting him down in his cot when he was calm (cue screaming and hysterical crying), sitting quietly on the sofa (cue scratching, pushing on my chest, more crying), leaving the room for 5 minutes (torture for everyone)… nothing has worked. Well, one thing has worked – feeding him. The one “sleep habit” we’re trying our hardest to avoid using.

Is he (finally) teething? Too hot? Too cold? Separation anxiety? Scared of the dark? Upset tummy? Is he actually hungry…??

Tonight we’re going to try something different – Neil will get up for resettling between midnight and 5am. Neil doesn’t have boobs and is unable to resort to the “my baby is crying and my willpower is non-existant” quick-fix of feeding. The theory is that if Neil can resettle him through the night without me having to get up to feed, then hunger isn’t the core issue and we can start looking at other factors.

Wish us luck!

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Apr 18 2013
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Life

Weird Things Babies Do

I was just reading a post over on Babble about six weird things babies do. I agreed with the infrequent blinking – that freaks me out – but farting, burping and throbbing fontanelle aren’t really that weird.

Here’s my list of 6 Weird Things Babies Do:

  1. Twirling feet:
    The Tobester’s feet are forever twirling – clockwise, anti-clockwise, one of each… He saves this particular baby quirk for when he’s happiest; usually when we’re about to leave the house or when he’s eating. He’s going to have very limber ankles by the time he starts walking.
  2. Sucking knees and shoulders:
    My knees and shoulders are often soggy thanks to the Tobester’s obsession with sucking them. If I walk past him at his activity station, he will launch himself at the nearest knee and slobber all over it while holding on for dear life lest I try to walk away.
  3. Licking pram tyres: 
    I thought this was a result of the Tobester watching Billy (the bunny) chewing on his pram tyres, but a mention of this particular quirk at Mother’s Group revealed it’s another weird thing babies do. Pram tyres children… really?!?!
  4. Freaking out at random things:
    The other day Toby lost it over Weet-Bix. Not just me taking the biscuit out of the crackly plastic (OK I can understand that), but the sight of the innocuous wheaty biscuit as well. Thank goodness he managed to get past his fear to eat them for breakfast.
  5. Groaning as they fall asleep:
    The Tobetser is a groaner. As we settle him to sleep, a chorus of loud groans emit from his little throat and continue until he finally drops off. We didn’t realise how noisy this was until we were out one day and someone pointed out how cute his loud sleepy noises were!
  6. Inspecting:
    Yesterday Toby inspected crumbs of banana pancake on his food tray for almost ten minutes. He picked each morsel up, squeezed it between his little pincers, rolled it around, then put it down and moved onto the next one. He is also doing some serious investigation work on our Dyson vacuum cleaner. Hopefully he’ll work out how to use it soon so I can take that particular chore off my To Do list.

What weird things does your baby do?

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Apr 15 2013
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Life Aside

So the Tobester’s current favourite toy line-up looks a little like this:

  1. Pram tyres – it doesn’t matter whose pram they belong to, he will lick all tyres equally.
  2. The clothes horse – mainly pulling things off it.
  3. A square of knitting – best for close inspection of the stitches and sucking.
  4. Cushions – great to throw yourself at, back up and repeat. Insert howls of baby laughter for best results.
  5. Remote controls – “No mum, I won’t be taken in by the broken one you’ve given me to play with. I want the ACTUAL remote controls for the TV…”

 

Unlikely Baby Toys…

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Apr 05 2013
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Sleep

The Battle for Sleepytime: Nights 4 & 5

And so the Sleepy Train rolls on.

The Lamari Parenting article (my new bible!) says to expect sleeping through to start around nights three to five; with “sleeping through” being 7-12 hours straight for a baby Toby’s age (almost 8 months).

To be honest, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if he ACTUALLY slept through. You can bet both of us would still be up several times to check he’s still breathing, and we’d still wake at 6am thanks to the sleep training Toby’s done on us the past eight months!

Night 4: How it Panned Out: 
7:20pm: Down for bed
12:15am: Woke up and hit his head. Resettled using PUPD. But woke up again. We left him to cry and after 3 minutes he had put himself to sleep. *happy dance*
2:25am: Woke up and fed. Back to bed easily.
4:50am: Woke up and sounded a little snuffly. Tried to resettle using PUPD but every time I put him back in his cot he woke up and cries (and cries). Try feeding at 5:15am but he still loses it when going into the cot. I bounce the length of the bedroom for another 30 minutes but he won’t settle. I get some joy stroking his cheek while lying on the sofa together. He finally crashes at 6:30am. I’m not far behind.
8:10am: Up for the day with a full-blown cold. Awesome. Snot all over his face, drool everywhere. We have a very unhappy panda on our hands…

And so we welcome back Darth. What sort of wonky baby immune system lets through a second cold in two weeks? Thank goodness he’s not in daycare yet… he’d be a sneezing, snotting, hand-foot-and-mouth-blistered mess!

In light of his return to Snotmaster, we decided not to let the Tobester cry for a prolonged period (ie: 5 minutes) on night five, and to give him up to two feeds if he wants them.

Night 5: How it Panned Out:
7:10pm: Down for bed
4:00am: Yes, you read that right folks – 4am! We heard him rousing a few times but it wasn’t until almost 9 hours that our little snotty, coughing boy woke up. Much quiet praise and a feed and he was back to sleep.
5:45am: PUPD and back to sleep within 10 minutes.
6:40am: Up for the day.

Now it’s probably 50/50 as to whether the Tobester’s monster sleep was down to feeling unwell, or progress in self-settling. I’m angling  – as any optimistic sleep-training parent would – that it was actually a little more of Column B. He roused several times in the night coughing and started to cry, then stopped within 1-2 minutes. When he was sick the other week we were all up every sleep cycle – so definite progress there.

Nap wise, our day sleeps are definitely suffering with the sleep training. We had a good two-hour morning nap this morning, but only another 30 minutes early afternoon. We usually get three day sleeps out of Toby, so the dropping of a nap is having an impact on the end of the day. He gets crankier earlier (5-5:30pm) and I’ve had to bring forward the Three B’s – “Bath, Boob & Bed”  – as a result. Unfortunately this means the husband is missing out on his night-time boy’s bonding session of bathing Toby.

The Tobester’s cough has been quite hacking today – and definitely worse than his last cold – so we’re prepared for a pretty disrupted night. It’s heartbreaking listening to him coughing so much between sleep cycles, but unfortunately there’s nothing we can do for him at the moment bar cuddles and comfort. Stupid germs!

The Lamari article also said to expect regression between nights five and eight, which will last up to three days. Coupled with the cold I think we’re fairly certain to have a sleep deprived weekend. Stay tuned…

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Apr 05 2013
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Life Quote
  • How to wipe his nose with his sleeve.
  • How to wipe his nose surreptitiously on my top.
  • If he gets up on his knees and pushes the side of the playpen, it moves.
  • An old remote control and toy phone are no substitute to the real TV remote and mum’s mobile.
  • How to run after me as I try to walk around his activity toy. Kid is going to be a tailgater…
  • Undoing the velcro on his shoes and taking them off.
  • Ditto his socks (just without the velcro… obviously)

Things Toby Has Learned This Week…

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